Drabbles
by admiral-cain
Summary: Several Brittany/Santana drabbles, ranging from one sentence to 400 words.
1. Abducted

**Abducted**

"_I would make him suffer/ I would make him beg/ I would make him scream/ But most importantly, I would make him pay." __Abduction-Endymion_

Brittany disappeared on July 24th, 2011. They found her a few weeks later, but Santana could tell from the rage in her eyes that she never really came back.


	2. Ambulance

**Ambulance**

_Dead Island Theme-Giles Lamb_

Santana heard the sickening crack before she saw the damage. Brittany's leg was bent at an unnatural angle, so much so that she could feel the urge to throw up burning in the back of her throat.

Brittany didn't even scream, not once. She just clutched at the grass and gritted her teeth until the ambulance arrived, and even then only a whimper escaped as she was loaded into the back. Santana took a step forward with the full intention to follow her to the hospital, her promise ringing loudly in her ears (_"I'll follow you always, Britt."_), but Coach stepped in her way and usurped her spot. She was left on the field, doomed to watch the ambulance drive away without her.

As the sirens faded into the distance, she found herself wishing, above all else, that Brittany would be able to dance again.


	3. Cry

**Cry**

"_Love was never meant to be such a crazy affair, no,/ and who has time for tears/ Never thought I'd sit around and cry for your love,/ 'Till now." __ You're Not Here-Mary Elizabeth McGlynn_

Her last note was still hanging thick in the air when she broke. Tears flowed freely down her cheeks, strong, silent. She was far too proud to sob, far too proud to be vulnerable like that. There was no way she'd let them see her crushed. Hurting. Brittany was the only one who got to see her like that.

As her eyes silently begged for her, for anything, all Brittany could do was clutch at Artie's hand and keep her gaze fixed firmly on the floor.


	4. Demand

**Demand**

_ Don Abandons Alice-John Murphy_

"I want you to look at me!" The choir room was deathly silent, Santana's words the singular thing shattering it.

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't lift her gaze from her lap. She could feel their eyes boring into her, hot and angry and curious all over her body. It was like everyone was just waiting for her to do something.

"Britt, I'm telling you I'm in love with you." She just sounded so scared. Terrified, actually, and she knew she was. It was the same look she wore when she clung to her beneath the sheets. The same look she never had the heart to question her about. Now it was overflowing from Santana and there was nothing either of them could do to stop it.

"You know how hard this is, you know. Please say something."

Brittany's eyes didn't move from her lap, and she didn't speak.

"Brittany, you have to say something."

Finally, she looked up, braving the waves of guilt at how small and pitiful Santana looked with her eyes glistening. Her desperation hit her like a punch to the stomach, knocking all the wind from her.

"I'm sorry." It's not enough, she knows it isn't, but it's all she can manage. She wished she could say what Santana wanted to hear. That she loved her back. That they could date. That their nights together meant more to her than just sex. She knew she was breaking her heart, but she just couldn't stop. Refusing to lie to her was the least she could do, because she couldn't give her the one thing she wanted.

It hurt worse than she'd expected to watch Santana's shoulders slump, any hope she had completely crushed, all by her hand.

She wanted to love her back, but no amount of wishing would change how she felt.


	5. Heartache

**Heartache**

"_Scars will heal soon/ You shrug it off,/ except you don't." __Alice Practice-Crystal Castles__  
_

Santana felt the urge to laugh stinging bitterly in the back of her throat, tears dripping silently off her chin. It was making her sick.

They'd always said that she was going to break Brittany's heart. She thought it was pretty goddamn ironic that it was Brittany who broke hers.


	6. Heavy

**Heavy**

"_I won't soothe your pain/ I won't ease your strain__/ __You'll be waiting in vain__/ __I got nothing for you to gain__."_ _Eyes on Fire (Zeds Dead Remix)-Blue Foundation_

Brittany first noticed it when she was hoisting Santana to the top of the pyramid. She was heavy, the effort straining her muscles to their limits. It had never happened before, not like that, and she wasn't expecting it. Before she knew it, Coach was screaming at her through the megaphone for trembling. She never trembled, not ever, and she was determined to find out why.

It was a week later when she felt it again, the same weight making her go tense all over, crushing her lungs as Santana absentmindedly chattered about her date with Puck. It was suffocating, nauseating. Every time Santana brushed her arm or linked pinkies with her, she felt sick. Every kiss put another crack in her ribs, the weight just adding and adding and never subsiding.

Santana just grinned and continued, like she didn't know. How could she not know that she was crushing her? Suffocating her?

The next week, Brittany walked away.


	7. Mirror

**Mirror**

"_And I don't want you and I don't need you__/ __Don't bother to resist, or I'll beat you/ It's not your fault that you're always wrong,/ The weak ones are there to justify the strong." __ The Beautiful People-Marilyn Manson_

Santana couldn't remember the last time she'd looked in a mirror and not hated the person staring back at her.


	8. Night

**Night**

"_How can I be sure/ that you won't walk away/ Oh angel of deception,/ let me live this way/ Oh, how can I be sure/ the safety of your arms/ doesn't suffocate me/ with all that they do harm." __ How Can I Be Sure-Anomie Belle_

Santana loved the night.

The eerie silence that blanketed everything, much like the darkness. She could lose herself in it. Walking down the middle of a deserted street made it easy to think. Easy for her to be someone else. Anyone else other than herself.

So she wandered.

She wandered for hours, every single night, but no matter where she went she always ended up back in the same place.

Brittany's window was always dark before she arrived, every night. So she laid down right where she stood in the middle of the street, concrete cold enough to make her shiver. She just laid there, praying for a car to hit her, anything.

No one ever came.


	9. Plead

**Plead**

"_Wake up (why can't you)/ and face me (come on now)/ Don't play dead (don't play dead)/ Cause maybe (because maybe)/ Someday (someday) I'll walk away and say/ you fucking disappoint me,/ maybe you're better off this way." __ Passive-A Perfect Circle_

"Santana, please!" Brittany called after her as she stormed out of the choir room. This wasn't how this was supposed to happen. She was going to tell her that night, where they could talk about it alone. Instead, Puck had to go and screw things up. "San, please stop!" She'd chased her into the hall, but honestly, she hadn't expected her to actually stop. Still, she did, turning with such a fury that, for a second, Brittany was scared.

"You worked so fucking hard to make me admit my feelings and be open about us just to go and fuck Mike behind my back? I don't fucking get it!" Tears were shiny on her cheeks, and Brittany couldn't force away the sick, twisting feeling in her gut. "I gave up fucking everything to be with you, Brittany. Everything. Were you ever planning on fucking telling me or were you just going to lie and pretend it never happened?"

"I was, but-"

"Fuck! Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to find out from Puck? In front of all our goddamn friends?"

"I'm so sorry." It was the only thing Brittany could think to say. She was sorry she slept with Mike. She was sorry that she had to find out this way. She was sorry for hurting her. She was sorry for a lot of things.

"I'm fucking done. I can't play your game anymore." Santana turned and walked away, leaving Brittany alone in the hallway.


	10. Prayer

**Prayer**

_I Can't Stop-Flux Pavilion_

The steady beeping was a constant reminder that there was nothing she could do. Absolutely nothing. She was helpless. It made her sick to her stomach, every thought, every feeling, the way Brittany's face was black and blue, contrasting the white sheets. She had no idea what to do, no plan. Not like usual.

Gently, she clasped Brittany's hand between hers and for the first time in years, she prayed.


End file.
